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STOP THE MERRY-GO-ROUND! I WANT TO GET OFF!

He (Chris) was 18, a senior in high school.
 
I was his pastor. My wife and I were good friends with Chris’ parents and often shared a meal with them.
 
One Sunday, after church, Chris’ parents told me that an issue with their business had suddenly come to light, and they needed to leave town for a few days to resolve it. They asked if I could pick their son up after school and drive him to a doctor’s appointment on Thursday of that week. It was a simple request: transportation. That was all I was being asked to provide. I was happy to help and was at the designated place for rides to pick up students after school on Thursday.

As school ended and students flooded out of the building, I soon saw Chris coming across the campus to my car, weighted down with his saxophone, backpack, and books. He opened the door, sat down, and before I could greet him, burst into tears—not a few tears, but long and loud sobs.
 
Not exactly the exchange of greetings I had anticipated!
 
I knew Chris well. He was thoughtful, fun-loving, and full of adolescent energy. He oozed musical aptitude and talent, seemingly playing all manner of instruments, from violin to saxophone to the saw. He often used his musical gifts and talents to lift our spirits when we gathered for worship. When the notes of Amazing Grace warbled from his saw, and he bent it to get to the high notes, the congregation almost always burst into applause. He had a future, heading to a Midwest university on a music scholarship. But in that front seat of my car that afternoon, he was none of those persons I knew so well. He was distraught, overwhelmed with a yet undisclosed burden. I knew he felt safe in my presence, so I gave him the space and moment to retrieve composure.

When the sobbing subsided, I asked him what had happened. I had imagined all kinds of things but was unprepared for what I would hear. This was Chris’ response:

• Can someone just please stop the merry-go-round? I want to get off!

As he unpacked what he meant, a picture of a young man buried under a deluge of activity emerged. He was an all-state athlete in a sport that made high schoolers gods. He played in the school orchestra, sang in the choir, and played in the jazz band. He was the student-body president. He was in the church youth group and sang and performed in different church musical groups. By almost any ordinary standard, he was living a high schooler’s dream life, but here he was, sobbing in the front seat of my car, depleted, straining to get out from under out-of-control pace and oversized expectations but unsure what to do.

OUR DEFICIENT VOCABULARY

Chris had gone through a buffet line of activities and said “yes” to every option. His plate was piled high to the point of breaking. The depletion he was suffering from being too busy is not unique. Most of us suffer from having too much to do. Few feel like they have too little to do. Most of us brag about schedules that are too full. No one brags about having too little to do. Being able to juggle too many expectations and keep too many balls in the air is a badge of honor. But just like ignoring warning signs urging us to slow down before the coming curve leads inevitably to a disaster, living a life of unending busyness and hurry will gut your life, dreams, and future. We must be very clear about this: busyness is not merely harmful but deadly. Here is a small list of the precious things it destroys: It shatters emotional health. It ruins physical health. It suppresses the ability to think and concentrate. It turns a marriage into a 10-car smash-up. It crushes souls.

There are a number of important reasons we fill our lives with impossible busyness. On coming Tuesdays, I’m devoting space to these underlying issues and the life-giving and peace-building solutions that can give our lives back to us. Today, I am beginning by pointing out the vocabulary deficiency leading us into a life of strain, hurry, exhaustion, and depletion.
While preparing to write this post, I looked in an online Thesaurus for synonyms for busyness. This article is partly about the damaging consequences of busyness, but I wanted alternative words to describe the frenzied pace we have embraced for too long. As I looked in the thesaurus, in a flash, I saw the way busyness is viewed as commendable while a lack of busyness is viewed as deplorable. Let me list some of the synonyms for busyness so you can see and judge for yourself:

Busyness is viewed as commitment, effort, hard work, zeal, dedication, perseverance. Where I grew up in a farming community, all those words earned you praise. These words get you noticed in your work life, earn your advancements, and expand your possibilities.
The antonyms of busyness—the words that portray an opposite quality—are these: apathy, negligence, indifference, neglect, lethargy, ignorance. In most places, these words get you shunned, overlooked, fired, and unfriended.
 
Our very language has failed us. The words we use to talk about our lives lead us down a path to the front seat of a car where we are sobbing, wondering how to get off the merry-go-round of out-of-control busyness.

SELAH

Here's unexpected, excellent news! A word that holds the balm of tranquility and deep rest that can save us from the madness, weariness, depletion, and crippling losses that come with leading a life that is out of control. The word is an obscure Hebrew word that shows up 71 times in 39 Psalms. The word is “selah.”


We know little about the word. We know it is ancient. We know it is Hebrew in origin: סלה. We know from its markings it is pronounced say’-luh. We know it is an invitation, not a command. If the invitation is accepted, we know it provides an opportunity to pause and think—remember the last time you did that?—but it is not in itself a dense theological term. We are not pausing to think about selah, but about the important things in life. Most of the time, it invites us to pause and think about what God is up to.
 
Most Hebrew scholars, having failed to find a solid way to translate the word, believe it has a place in the world of music. If this is true, it is equivalent to a musical rest, that moment when the crescendo of music is completely silenced, and for a moment delicious, impactful silence washes over you.

I played a euphonium (baritone) for years. In concert bands, I sat in the back with trombones and tubas. Percussion was always nearby. Sitting in that place you could hear the melody build slowly, picking up momentum and instrumentation. As it soared and the pace quickened, you could feel the energy building. When the low-throated instruments and percussion joined, it could feel like a parade of the elephants. Caught up in the energy, I had to watch the conductor carefully for the moment when all playing paused for a beat. I didn’t want to be the one who rushed on ahead, filling the silence with sound, when all we had to do was pause and be silent for a moment or two. Those silences were pregnant and alluring. I learned that music loses some of its impact apart from a selah silence.  

But how do you translate this silence? Most Psalm translations simply transliterate it from Hebrew to English: “selah.” Unfortunately, a few exclude it from the Psalms. The New Living Translation calls it an “interlude.” The Amplified Bible Classic Edition translates it this way: “Pause, and think of that.” The Passion Translation says, “Pause in his presence.”
Rushing through days deprives us of selah rests. Our constant motion makes us yearn for the tranquility of selah. Slower life becomes more desirable as a result of frantic living. Many are beginning to question if there isn't a simpler way to live after years of living at an unsustainable pace. In this moment, the invitation and word of selah are necessary.
 
I'm looking forward to a deep, meaningful conversation each Tuesday with this spiritual formation community about the sort of life that is possible when we examine and, maybe one day, embrace the invitation provided by an old, obscure word, "Selah." Some of us are finding how to slow down the pace of our life and have much to share that will help us all . Some of us barely hang on; we can learn to help one another as transparency grows. Some of us sit with Chris, overwhelmed, unsure how to get off the speeding merry-go-round. We can walk together on a way to a slower, simpler life.

Whichever words and stories may come each Tuesday, here is the word for today: Selah!

Photo by Filip Mroz on Unsplash

Yesterday, I encouraged you to take a second look at the de-souling pace of life of 21st-century living. There are ways to quit racing and rebuild a pace of life. Spiritual health, mental and emotional health, physical and relational health will all receive your decision to slow down with deep gratitude.

RETRIEVING JESUS’ PACE OF LIFE
First, He moved at the speed of walking. It might be tempting to wonder how much more Jesus could have done had He come to earth in the 21st century with the transportation now available and the ability to reach large masses of people through television and social media. But before going too far down that road, remember that we are told, in Galatians 4:4, that at just the right time, God sent Jesus into the world. The right time includes the speed of life. Jesus walked—everywhere. God, in Jesus, moved at the speed of walking.

This is stunning: No rushing, yet never late. Always on time and never depleted. Jesus was in constant demand, but He never rushed or arrived out of breath. And He never pushed anyone to do more.

Second, He deliberately got away from the crowds and demands of others to rest. Sometimes, He invited his close friends and followers to join Him in a time of rest. He had roughly three years to make clear the mission of God to restore everyone and everything, yet not once did He appear overwhelmed, overburdened, or frustrated. Not once did He clamor for success or rush around attempting to prove his value to others.

Third, as He ascended to heaven, Jesus demanded that His followers do nothing but wait until God’s Spirit was poured fully into them. Just wait. This time, they managed to do exactly what Jesus had instructed. Instead of trying to save the world, or getting aggressive, or pushing everyone to do more, they waited. Perhaps they set up hammocks and rested as they prayed and waited.

Where did Jesus find the inspiration to tell them to do nothing except wait? Jesus was a person of the first testament scriptures. The second testament had not yet been written. Jesus read, prayed, and sang the Psalms. The words and rhythms of these books in the Bible were deeply instilled in His soul. Lest you forget, here are a few examples from the Psalms that implore us to wait:
“Wait for the Lord…wait for the Lord” (repeated twice in Psalm 27:14)
“Our soul waits for the Lord…” (Psalm 33:20)
“Wait for the Lord…” (Psalm 37:14)
I waited patiently for the Lord…” (Psalm 40:1)
“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence…” (Psalm 62:5)
“I wait for the Lord; my soul waits…” (Psalm 130:5)

SIX WAYS TO BEGIN PRACTICING “SLOW DOWN” SPIRITUALITY
First, do nothing. Doing nothing on a vacation is not usually enough. Doing nothing when you have time to do nothing accomplishes little. Doing nothing when you have no time to do nothing is where great rewards are found. However, when you are busy, it is extremely challenging to intentionally do nothing. After a variety of experiments, I have discovered that it is very beneficial to do nothing for fifteen minutes at least three times per week. Here are a few helpful explanations to provide a bit more guidance:

• Nothing means nothing. During your 15-minute intervals, do nothing—no cell phone, conversation, music, or reading. Picture in your mind a hammock, park bench, or canoe. Climb in and just “be” there for the full 15 minutes.
• I don’t know if doing nothing seems difficult to you. It did to me. I found, to my amazement, that I could only manage a few minutes before I began to feel myself growing uncomfortable. Thoughts such as “I have so much to do,” or “I forgot to send an email” would leap into my consciousness. I finally realized I was going through the equivalent of withdrawal—my drugs of choice were overworking and hurrying. My being was simply acknowledging the missing jolt of activity I had given it for years. But I have good news. Even though I believe that, for a majority of Christians, this will be the most difficult practice to embrace, the rewards are immense. You will, after months or possibly even years, find yourself looking forward to the times of rest that result from doing nothing. Even more miraculously, you will find yourself envisioning a time when you can set aside half a day to do nothing.
• The real payoff from this “do nothing” practice is increased attentiveness to the Presence of God. You will sense other benefits. Serenity will replace hyper-drive; peacefulness will overtake anxiety. But the deepest impact will be rising awareness of Presence with you and around you.

Second, plan slow time. My “slow down” practice began with the goal of doing nothing for 15 minutes three times per week. As I started to find the rhythm and pace of that practice, I increasingly realized the importance of reworking my entire thinking in regard to time. It was helpful to stop my rushing, but I quickly returned to my normal pace once I had completed the 15 minutes. I needed to accept that hurrying had a vice-like grip on my life. I had to find “tricks” that gave my body and mind to quit rushing. For example, I started shifted from the fast lane of the interstate to the slow lane. Here are a few more tips I adopted:

• Ride a bike instead of driving
• Walk instead of riding your bike
• Sit on a bench instead of walking
• Prepare a meal at home rather than devouring fast food

Third, ask a pro question. The difference between a rookie and a pro is not the answers, but the questions. Rookies can give answers, but they seldom know what questions to ask. Pros ask great questions, and find better answers. Here is a pro question: “Why?”

• Why are you rushing? Seriously, I’m asking. Why are you rushing?
• Why have you said “yes”? What was the temptation that you could not resist?
• Why are you overloaded? What is the force causing you to be overburdened?
• Why are you not saying “no” more often? You could easily do so—really.

Your answers to these questions will reveal the grip that hurrying has on you. They will reveal the challenges you are facing in your desire to travel into a deeper life with Jesus.

Fourth, quit the circus. The de-souling art of 21st-century culture provides what appears to be a great skill: the ability to keep many balls in the air. It is time to resign your position as juggler. It is time to quit the circus.

You may be convinced that you are quite proficient at multitasking. You are not—it is a false skill. You can only do one thing at a time. What we call multitasking is simply allowing ourselves to be distracted. So, put all your attention into one thing. Later, move on to the next.

Fifth, resist the frenzy of others. Rarely, if ever, is the agenda of others for your life equivalent to God’s agenda. You must never resist the concerns that God lays on your heart. But be warned: even the good, spiritual-sounding agendas of others will compromise your ability to fulfill the unique mission God has given you.

Sixth, tame your mobile devices. Turn off your mobile. Make it serve you rather than you serving its every buzz, vibration, and ring. Do not take it with you on your walk or run. Do not bring it into the hammock. Resist sneak peeks. This may sound like a frivolous rule, but the data is overwhelming. Cellphones are destroying our soul’s ability to pay attention to anything, let alone the Presence of Living God.

My wife and I met Francisco the first day of the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage in the Pyrenees mountains. It was about two o’clock in the afternoon. We had begun that first day of trekking around 7:00 a.m. following a simple breakfast. We had been preparing for this moment for two years and were finally ready. Full of anticipation, we took our first steps. As we walked, our bodies were adjusting to the weight we were carrying, and we were finding a rhythm. We walked through small villages, stopping one or two times for coffee and to adjust our packs. At about noon, we joined other pilgrims for lunch.

The Basque village where we had stopped was at the base of a mountain. From the courtyard where we were eating, we kept eyeing the steep path that meandered up the mountain and out of sight. When we finished lunch, we put the packs on our backs and started out on the path. The grade was significant and after about an hour of climbing, having rounded what seemed like endless corners, we had grown tired and began to look for a place to rest. But, upon rounding a corner, I thought I saw the summit. Encouraged, we decided to dig deep and make it there before stopping. I was sure it would then be all downhill to our evening destination. It took about another 30 minutes of trudging uphill to realize that what I had seen was merely a false summit, the first of several that would fool me during the early portion of the trek. Disappointed and trying to catch our breath, we knew we needed to stop. After rounding one more corner, we saw a fallen tree on the side of the path with the trunk being supported at just the right height to serve as a bench for our tired bodies. As we drew nearer, we saw Francisco from Puerto Rico already sitting on the trunk. As we made eye contact with one another, he motioned for us to join him. He had been sitting for some time and, like the kind gentleman he was, stood so that my wife could sit down. We rested for about thirty minutes and had a wonderful conversation. We learned that he had just retired as a school principal, and had similarly been preparing for this trip for several years. Here we were, on the first afternoon of a 500 mile trek, meeting a fellow peregrino—a pilgrim.

Francisco was about our age, and as we stood there talking, we noticed quite a few younger peregrinos  hurrying by in an attempt to secure a good bed at the evening hostel. As we prepared to resume our journey, Francisco said something profound that forever shaped our lives. “Remember: pace, not race. It is all about the pace. There are no winners or losers—it is about completing the trek. Do not get caught up in the rush of others.”

That mantra might as well have been a bumper sticker applied to our backpacks for the remainder of the trek. “Pace, not race” we would keep repeating to one another. Coming from a culture where racing is the normal way of life, I have been experimenting ever since our return with ways to avoid being drawn into the race of those around me. I often fail, but I’m making progress.

THE SPIRITUAL PRACTICE THAT HEALS DESOULING: SLOW DOWN
I can imagine at this point that you may be underwhelmed by this practice, but don’t be. It is more profound and more challenging than you think.

I have learned more about the 21st-century art of desouling by dialoguing with graduate students in programs related to biblical studies, ministry, and spiritual formation. Let me take you inside one of those classes, typically comprised of pastors, church leaders, and men and women seeking to deepen their understanding of Christian faith and spirituality. In one class called “Discipleship Tools for the Missional Church,” I lead the class through a conversation about four images and five words during one session. I begin with the four images and ask them to take their time and identify all the things they see.

• The first image is of a person lounging on a hammock. A floppy hat is covering the face. You can tell the person is a female. An open book is lying face down on her chest. Shade is covering the hammock, which could be in any backyard, though most of the students surmise the setting is coastal.
• The second image is of a park bench with a solitary person lounging on the bench. A male is sitting on the bench, which is clearly under a large tree. There is a fountain spraying water gently in the air nearby. The man has one leg extended on the bench.

Photo by Frédéric Barriol on Unsplash

• The third image is of a backpacker in the mountains sitting on a large rock looking out at a stunning vista. The hiker is alone, backpack off, sitting on a rock—no earphones, no phone, no book, not eating—just looking out at the horizon.
• The fourth image is of a person sitting in a canoe on a remote lake fishing. There are no other boats on the lake and no signs of any campers, picnickers, or swimmers.

Following the discussion that identifies many interesting facts about the images, I ask the class to go back and answer one question about each picture: What does lying on a hammock, lounging on a park bench, sitting on a rock in the mountains, or relaxing in a canoe have to do with the deep missional work of God in the world and in the human soul?

In nearly every class, none of the students can make the connection between the mission of God and any of the referenced activities—to them, none seem remotely connected.

It is not difficult for me, as both a professor and pastor, to be sympathetic to very contemporary students who struggle with connecting these images to the mission of God. Most pastors I know are devoted to that mission—as they understand it. They work hard, rarely taking time off. In fact, 90% of pastors in the U.S. work between 55 and 70 hours each week. Not surprisingly, 90% also feel fatigued.

I then ask them to consider five words, and to tell me what those words have to do with the deep missional work of God in the human soul.

• The first word is “overworking.” I ask them to find synonyms for overworking. They come up with words such as “overextending,” “overburdening,” and “overloading.” I hear them talking about exhaustion and burnout. I keep them focused on the question: What does overworking have to do with the deep missional work of God in the human soul?
• The second word is “narcissism.” They come up with words and phrases like “self-absorption,” “excessive fascination with my success,” “taking the air out of the room,” and “attempting to turn everything back on me.”
• The third word is “insecurity.” They identify phrases such as “inability to be confident,” “running around asking others if you’re appreciated,” and “needing to prove you’re invaluable.”
• The fourth word is “anger.” I explain that anger is a natural part of the human psyche. It is directly connected to the fight and flight mechanism hardwired into us for the purpose of facing potentially dangerous or difficult situations. But it can also be a flashpoint that leads to out-of-control behaviors. I ask for synonyms that reflect anger. The class offers up words and phrases like “resentment,” “irritation,” “deep feelings of displeasure,” and “strong feelings of exasperation.”
• The last word is “aggressive.” The groups of pastors think of words such as “forceful,” “pushy,” “unrelenting,” and “dominant.”

As we talk, the light slowly goes on and the pastors begin to see that these five words are symptoms of a life that is off track. They are verbal signals that the transformative work of God has not gone deep into the persons whose lives are defined by these characteristics.

CONFESSIONAL CONVERSATION AND REPENTANT PRAYING
It is always a time filled with deep emotion, as we admit to how malformed lives, leading to malformed living, have dominated our ministry vocation. We pray for associates and colleagues who have pushed to do more and work longer hours. Somewhere in the middle of that confessional conversation and repentant praying, a bridge begins to form from the four images of a hammock, park bench, mountain rock, and canoe to those five key words. Pastors who spend their lives in front of people come to the realization that finding a solitary rock in the mountains creates intentional time to be still and silent so that God has space and time to do restorative work within them. Pastors who read bibles and pray begin to see that lying on a hammock is an essential part of finding a deeper life with God.

Tomorrow, I’ll share six steps that will help you build the kind of pace of life that gives God ample opportunity to restore the soul that 21-st century culture has sought to stripped from you.

Change momentum is growing in the Upper Room. We’ve been taking seriously something that “theologian” Bart Simpson (please insert smile) once said about contemporary church: “Church is lights, smoke and tae-bo.” We recognize that and we’re disenchanted with the lack of power or relevance of that reality.

We’ve made small changes here and there to match the growing desire to become a community that gathers not around music, preaching, personalities, etc., but around a growing awareness of the Presence in our midst. We’ve added prayer stations where seekers can have time and space to commune with God. We’ve positioned seating into the round so as not to focus on the human leaders up front. We’ve added dialogue to most Sundays to increase learning and thinking about the gospel, culture, and our insatiable hunger for more.

What encourages us the most is the awareness that we are not entrepreneurs making something happen or innovators creating something that has never occurred before. Far from it! Instead, we are keenly aware that every great awakening and deepening of the spiritual life has begun dissatisfaction about the anemia of the status quo and with hunger for more. We are simply following the pathway laid out by hungry souls before us who desired more, yearned for more and refused to be satisfied by less until finally, their souls opened and they discovered the One for whom their soul had been restlessly seeking.

In Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis said, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
 
If you sense down deep in your soul this hunger for more, you are welcome to gather with us as we learn how to gather around the Real Presence of Living God and feast on the Whole Wheat Bread of Life.